Alcohol and anxiety

Alcohol has always been something I’ve been very familiar with. I’ve always enjoyed drinking it, whether to enjoy the flavour or to get drunk. I probably consume 2 beers minimum in a week, but most weeks, I drink more.

It’s natural, growing up, to want to drink and get drunk. In no way is it a necessity, but it has historically been a staple of British social culture. In this blog, I am going to discuss my relationship with alcohol and anxiety.

Social life

I started drinking socially pretty young, which is not uncommon in the UK.  In 2021, 6% of English secondary school pupils were recorded to drink at least once a week, and for those who said they went out frequently, this increased to 12%[1]. For the majority of the UK, drinking is reserved for socialising and/or a treat after work or on a weekend. Drinking can make for a really fun time; I frequently go to the pub with friends or go round to people’s houses to have a drink and watch TV.

Alcohol is said to impact your brain, causing a release of dopamine, which makes you happy! It can also lead to the loss of inhibitions, which can make you more confident and relaxed[2].  This means it pairs perfectly with a good time. But you have to keep in mind that, with more drinks, the dopamine will eventually die down, and you can end up feeling confused, clumsy, sick and/or dehydrated.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t drink; it just means you should be aware. In the following few sections, I will touch more on the positives and negatives of how alcohol makes me feel.

Using Alcohol to relax

As a young person with an anxiety disorder, introducing alcohol to social events has made accessing these opportunities and meeting new people easier. After a few drinks, my anxiety dulls, I find it easier to make conversations and meet new people, and I don’t overthink as much. It doesn’t get rid of any of these completely, but it’s a noticeable difference.

Alcohol is quite literally referred to as “liquid confidence”; even for people who don’t deal with an anxiety disorder, it’s known to help with socialising. Especially since entering university and meeting so many new people, I found events which included drinking really helped me actually talk to people on my course and in societies.

It’s important, though, to not build up a reliance on alcohol. I still struggle with socialising a lot, and when I’m sober, I still don’t talk to countless people I do talk to when I drink. This can easily build up a want to drink again so that I can lose the inhibitions and anxiety that I typically feel. If you ever feel like this, I think it’s important to hang out with people sober and get up to fun, memorable things. You can use these times as a reminder that you don’t need to drink to enjoy socialising.

Hang-xiety

The term ‘hang-xiety’ was introduced to me by a teacher after I expressed to her the intense feelings of guilt, regret and anxiety I would feel the next morning after a night out. This is probably one of the main deterrents that keeps me from drinking. My feelings of anxiety those 24 hrs after can be so intense that I swear I will never drink again, or sometimes, that I will never leave the house again. For me, I typically don’t feel ill with a hangover, but no matter how well I feel, that same looming essence of doom and regret hangs over me.

I’ve done plenty of stupid things I regret while drinking, and typically, those next mornings are the worst. But the interesting thing about my hang-xiety is I could have had the most fun night, where nothing strange or embarrassing happened at all, and I still wake up feeling the heightened anxiety. It’s like all the social anxiety I didn’t feel the night before all crashes down on me at once, and my brain starts searching for reasons to justify why I feel bad. “You spoke too excitedly to that person”, “your dancing looked weird”, “you said something strange”. These simple thoughts can easily lead me to spiral, and in these moments, I turn to mindfulness to help myself calm down and think straight.  Read more on mindfulness

As I have grown to learn more about my tolerance, I’ve found managing my hang-xiety a lot easier. I can make an effort to ensure that in the morning, I feel okay, and I remind myself that it’s okay to wake up and feel badly hungover and anxious every so often, as I can make the effort again next time.

Tolerance

My tolerance for alcohol has always been relatively high compared to my friends, but understanding my tolerance is helpful in countering the feelings of hang-xiety. At some point, everyone who drinks will go too far, and that is okay. These experiences are what you can base your limit on.

The first time I blacked out, I had just been drinking straight vodka, and when I woke up, I hated myself. I swore never to drink that much again, which I kept true to until I entered university.  After a few more bad experiences, I realised it was due to me “chasing the drunk feeling” I knew my tolerance was high, so I felt I needed to drink a lot, and it turned out my downfall was the speed I drank at. I would drink a lot, fast, to try to ensure I would stay drunk for longer. But consequently, I ended up feeling a bit drunk for a while and then suddenly blacking out and remembering nothing. I’m thankful that I have people around me who can walk me home and make sure I’m okay- and it reminds me how important having people you trust with you when you drink is.

You don’t need to meticulously count your units, but be aware that you are on your 3rd  or 4thdrink, or keep in mind that drinking red wine (for example) leaves you with a headache the next morning. When you go to the bar, get water with your drink. You don’t have to drink it, but it’s a great habit to help avoid a fun night becoming something you don’t remember.

My tips for avoiding the tipping point…

• eat something before and after drinking
• ask for water with your drink
• don’t drink too fast
• be aware of how many drinks you had
• pace your drinks out throughout the night
• be aware of any mediations you take and their effects on your tolerance

Alcoholism

Despite the fact I drink a lot, I know I don’t have a problem. Many of my friends enjoy teasing me that I’m an “alcoholic”, a joke even I play into sometimes. But occasionally, I overthink, and the joke gets too much. I start to worry that there is a problem, or I could have a problem in the future. In these times, I remind myself that I am not dependent on alcohol, I remind myself that I enjoy time with my friends sober frequently and that whenever I decide to go out or drink at home, I know I could choose not to. In times when my anxiety around this has gotten bad, I have chosen to go to the pub and not drink or maybe get a soft drink instead. It’s cheaper and proves to me that I know I am okay, and I am in control- no matter what others say.

Worried you might have a problem with drink? Read more on our MindMate page 

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