ADHD and emotions
Emotional regulation can be particularly challenging for individuals with ADHD. Differences and challenges in self-regulation are often linked to differences in executive functioning too. The brain differences in those with ADHD mean that it can be a little harder to navigate emotions, so more support may be needed sometimes, and that is OK.
Often those with ADHD feel emotions very intensely. This can be happy feelings such as intense joy, as well as uncomfortable feelings such as overwhelm or sadness. The intensity of emotions can mean that moods might fluctuate more often, with more ups and downs. This will also change during puberty.
This will impact both males and females, but for those who have periods, there has been more research recently into how pre-menstrual symptoms (PMS) link with ADHD and emotional regulation challenges too.
Rejection Sensitivity
Rejection Sensitivity (RS) is a term used to describe intense emotional responses to real or perceived rejection/failure. Sometimes it is referred to as ‘Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria’ or RSD, a phrase coined by Dr Wiliam Dodson. It is not a ‘diagnosable’ condition, and anyone can experience this. However, it is more common in individuals with ADHD and other neurodivergent individuals.
- Examples of where rejection sensitivity may be experienced:
- You might be having a conversation with someone at school or work, and you notice someone’s behaviour or tone of voice might be very slightly different to normal.
- Your friend who you are meeting cancels on you at the last minute.
- Some cases might be more direct, for example, someone saying something specific, e.g., ‘you’re talking too fast, slow down’.
The emotional responses during or after these situations might include:
- Strong, uncomfortable feelings of rejection, sadness, low self-esteem
- Going quiet/withdrawn, low mood
- Anger, frustration
- Potential intrusive thoughts, e.g. What have I done wrong? What is wrong with me? No one likes me, it’s all my fault.
Regardless of whether it is obvious or subtle, the emotional response can be just as intense. It triggers an automatic response of discomfort (similar to fight/flight). Rejection sensitivity and ‘being sensitive’ is not a choice. It is important to acknowledge the challenges of experiencing rejection sensitivity and validate these emotions when they arise, even if they seem ‘disproportionate’ to others.
How can we manage Rejection Sensitivity and intense emotional responses?
Everyone will cope with rejection sensitivity differently. It may lead to avoiding certain situations or tasks, or the opposite with the individual over-compensating due to fear of possible rejection. Here’s some tips to support these experiences:
Learning about yourself and about rejection sensitivity can allow you to slowly accept the way your brain works, and that it is OK to be sensitive – rejection sensitivity often comes with positive attributes like being caring, compassionate and empathetic.
Sometimes it is difficult knowing the cause of big emotions, and it may be good to question if your rejection sensitivity is playing a part. Identifying that it is not your fault and validating that your brain sometimes works differently, can help to reduce any shame around these big feelings.
No matter how ‘big’ or ‘small’ the event may be, or how ‘normal’ the reaction may be, rejection sensitivity can mean that children/young people experience lots of things as a ‘big’ event – these emotions need to be validated
If you’ve experienced rejection sensitivity once, it is likely you’ve experienced it many times before. It can be good to remind yourself that the intense emotions will pass, and it won’t last forever.
In the moment these feelings are real and intense, but once you are calm and regulated again, we can use our logical brain to remind ourselves that these thoughts were driven by emotions. We can use evidence to de-tangle what is fact and what is emotions.
See more detailed information about emotions and emotional regulation strategies on our emotions page